The spirits in you and me
by winter's saving grace
Summary: What if Peeta died in the games. What if she shuts down and learns the meaning of love through Peeta's death. What if I said she saw Peeta... in spirit. Join Katniss and Peeta as they try to fully revive Peeta and find their love for each other along the way.
1. The kill

The screams of Cato echo in our ears.I curl into Peeta in a way to get rid of the screams, but obviously it is no use. Peeta's face shows pain and torture and I can only imagine the same look on my face. I look to Cato and I see his eyes begging...pleading. He reaches a hand out and he use the last of his energy to say in a raspy, rough voice, "Please,"  
It's in a tiny whisper, but enough for me to hear. Peeta gives me an assured nod and I aim my bow. I watch as the arrow pierce his skull, killing him instantly. I smile, because I don't hear his screams or whimpers and he can't suffer anymore. We slide down from the roof of the cornucopia and looked to the sky for a hovercraft, so we can go home. We looked to each other in question and just when Peeta has opened his mouth to say something, Seneca Crane's voice blares throughout the arena.

"Attention. Attention tributes. There's been a slight rule change. The previous revision allowing for two victories from the same district has been revoked. Only one victor may be crowned. Good luck. And may the odds be ever in your favor."

I shook my head in disbelief. What was I gonna do? I can't kill Peeta. I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair. He saves my life and I take his. I couldn't do that.  
A voice in the back of my mind told me_,"Think about Prim, your mother...Gale. You have to."_  
I was interrupted from my thoughts by Peeta finally speaking," Go ahead. One of us should go home. One of us has to die, they have to have their victor," he gestures to the bow and stash of arrows that I hold in my hands.

"No"

I threw my bow and stash of arrows down and walked towards him.

"No" I repeated. I dug in my pocket for the nightlock berries, but my eyes widened when they weren't there. My fingers went through a hole in my pocket and I scrambled to my backpack in panic. It wasn't there either. The berries were gone. What was I gonna do. I sat down with my head between my knees as the tears rolled down my face. I felt a soft touch on my shoulder and looked over to see Peeta holding the bow and arrow out to me.

"Katniss, you have something to live for. Prim, your mother...Gale. I don't. I am not important. You are. Katniss it's alright..."

"No...it's not. Peeta listen to yourself, your asking me to kill you. I don't want to live with that. You are important to me," I said.

" Katniss, we can stay here as long as you want, but I will not kill you and I refuse to let you kill yourself, if that's what your thinking. I will make sure you get out of this arena until my last dying breathe."

Anger blurred my vision," What about you! So many people adore you. Your father and your brothers. Have you forgotten about them" I shouted.

He just looked at me with a hint of sadness gleaming in his eyes," They'll move on, just like you will...Katniss...I'm already dead," I shook my head and my tears scorched my face.  
He shoved the bow and arrow in my hands," You know what to do," He chaste my lips and tried to back away, but I roughly smashed his lips to mine and kissed him like there's no tomorrow. In reality, it there actually was no tomorrow _with him_. We hugged each other tightly and broke apart. He slowly inched backwards and stopped waiting for the arrow to pierce his chest. I held the bow in my weak shaking hands. I tried to aim correctly, but it was impossible. As I aimed the arrow, I cried harder.

" You can do it Katniss," I tried to blink away the tears and released the arrow. I watched as his face arranged in pain and then he was down on the ground. I dropped to my knees beside him and I shrieked over and over again, " I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I held his head in my lap and tried to calm down.

He shushed me and said," Hey, don't be sorry you did the right thing.," His breaths grew thinner and thinner. After a minute or so he whispered," I love you," and his chest stopped moving and his eyes now lifeless stared at the sky. The cannon fired and that was all it took for me to collapse on his chest and cry everlasting tears. I took the arrow slowly out as if he was alive and it could hurt him. I chaste his lips one last time and captured his beautiful ocean blue eyes one last time before I closed them. I kissed each eye lid and sat against the tree with my knees to my chest.

" Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen"

This only made me cry harder. I climbed the ladder to the hovercraft and watched as Peeta's body is taken away in a different one. Obviously knowing how I may react. I was the winner. I completed my goal, but this was one of the goals I didn't mind failing.


	2. The interview

White.

That is all I see.

I feel numb.

I feel cold.

I don't know where I am. I sit up from a bed I laid on and looked around. I see movement to my right and my head whips around. All my memories come back to me when I see Haymitch. My mentor in the 74th Hunger Games. _How could I forget. _The same games that turned my life around for the worse. The same games that killed Peeta. The Peeta who saved my life more times than I can count. My eyes stung with unshed tears. Then all in one I broke down in tears. Peeta. He was the only person I could think about. Not Prim, mother, Madge, or Gale. I felt used and abandoned.

"I'm sorry"

I looked over to Haymitch and tears also streamed down his face. He wrapped his arms around me in a hug and held me as I cried. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for him. He deserved more than a arrow to the chest and... _I was the cause of his death. I _shot the arrow to his chest._ I killed him. _After a hour, I sniffled and smiled up at Haymitch, not trusting my voice. He led me to my room. I sat by the window and tried to see the trees through the darkness. Unsuccessful through the blur of tears I curled up in a ball on the bed and cried silent tears. I waited for sleep and after a few hours it did.

* * *

The knock on the door woke me up. I expected to see the orange of Effie Trinket's wig, but I didn't. Instead, I saw noticeable gold eyeliner and an afro. _Cinna. _I hop out bed wide awake and squeezed Cinna. I took in the smell of Cinna's jacket and cried silent tears. I missed Cinna so much.

"I know, I know...I'm sorry to tell you, but you can't hide in this room forever. Caesar is desperate to interview you." _of course._

I am the victor of the 74th hunger games. _The Girl on Fire. _

My only goal was to come back home to Prim and that was all. I didn't really care about anything else. Now I was scared that Prim may be caught up in the capitol's silliness, because of the 'popularity' I have. I frowned to myself the best I could, my dislike for the event showed. I didn't want to be interviewed. I loved Caesar...I really did, but I couldn't face the fact that I'd most likely have to talk about Peeta. I just wanted to go home.

"Katniss, you'll be fine...and you know what I have the most beautiful dress for you to wear."

* * *

I was being interview tonight.  
I didn't want to as you know, but I had to.

" Turn around,"

Cinna told me. I turned to the mirror and saw an amazingly beautiful girl. Her hair was braided like a staircase and was similar to a fishtail. She had a braided halo wrapped around her head. Her dress was black with a stream of glittery red at the bottom edge and had close to no makeup on. I comprehended after a minute that girl was me. I turned around to hug Cinna.

" Thank you," I said

" Your welcome..._Girl on Fire_"

Effie then gave me hours worth of tips and training for the interview. I really just tired not get yelled at.

After that it was interview time.

"Hello Panem" Caesar shouted to the audience.

I zoned him out. My hands and knees were shaking badly. I was never good with words... Peeta is. He could charm the audience in one second without trying. I sighed and then I looked over to Haymitch in the crowd. He gave me a look and then a man in a grey suit gave me cue to get on stage. I moved to the stage as happily as I could, but it was hard and I may have ended up looking like a smiling idiot. I moved to the couch and smiled at the audience and then Caesar.

"How is life treating you,"

" Good" I lied.

" Cinna made this dress am I right,"

" Right you are"

"A round of applause for Katniss Everdeen's stylist, Cinna. The audience roared with claps and shouts of praise. I watched as Cinna took a bow and then sat.

Then Caesar came back to me after the crowd was quiet.

" Sooooooo Katniss, How do you feel being victor."

" It feels wonderful, because I get to go back to my family."

" I bet it does. Your sister must be proud," He placed his hand on mine and I just nodded.

We turned our attention to the screen to see the replay of the Hunger Games. They showed Peeta shaking his head at me when I was eyeing the bow and arrow at the cornucopia. Then it showed Peeta running to the woods at mega speed. _So that's where he went. _Then they show my encounter with Clove and me running and rolling down a hill.

It was a hour long. When Rue died I was out like a light. I couldn't see anymore. I turned my head to look at the audience expression. It was actually interesting. Then I heard the sounds of Cato screams and I looked up not able to turn away. It then changed to the sceen when Peeta talks me into killing him. I turned to the crowd and saw tears in their eyes. A tear streamed down my face when I heard the truthfulness behind his words. I don't turn my head when I shoot the air that caused his death. The angelic smile that is plastered on his face and peace that covers his face makes me cry harder.

The lights turn back on and Caesar hugs me. I calm down and Caesar takes this as his time to ask his final question.

" Katniss, I know this may be hard for you to answer, but how did you feel when you shot that arrow?"

" sad, guilty, betrayed, angry...quilty"

He smiled sadly at me and captured my hand and shouted," Give it up for the victor of the 74th annual hunger games Katnisss Everdeen" I rose from my seat and took a bow. I was escorted backstage and before anyone could stop me I ran to my room and cried until I fell asleep like the night before.

* * *

I awoke in the middle of the night by a coldness in the air. I sat up in my bed, but stopped short when I felt something else weighing the bed I laid on down. When I saw the blonde hair and blue eyes of Peeta Mellark I shrieked.


	3. Home is where the heart shatters

I had worked out many theories that morning when I woke from the short sleep. The first being a hallucination. I miss him so maybe life wants to destroy me with hallucinations. That was the only theory that I truly stuck with, the last being I had saw a ghost. The minute the ghost theory came in mind I dismissed it. It couldn't be, because I was the only one there and whatever it was came and went in a blink of an eye. Ghosts haunt you out of negativity not torture and confusion.

I was on the train ride home when I heard a voice whisper "Katniss...It is not your fault" I whipped my head around to find the voice but it was no use. Cinna then came in and hugged me telling me to be safe for him. Then it was Effie, who squeezed me to death, and finally Caesar who repeated Effie's process. The train stopped and all I heard was cheers of district 12. The train door opened and I looked around. My eyes found prim, mom, and of course Gale. Our eyes held each other for a moment before I searched for anyone else I knew. My eyes grazed over the Mellark's, their heads looked down and tears were down their face with the exception of the woman. Peeta's mother. I immediately confront them with my pin. Peeta's father looks at me and I put my hand out that held my pin, willing him to take it. With a silent shaky thank you, he takes it from me. I learn a few things in those moments...Peeta's funeral is tomorrow and I move into the Victor's village tomorrow.


End file.
